Some thoughts have been nagging me: Thoughts on the 57 women who have come forth about improprieties at the hands of comedian Bill Cosby.
I wish to borrow from the wisdom of Psychologist, Social Activist & Author of the healing 16 Steps for Empowerment, Women Sex and Addiction, Many Roads, One Journey, and If the Buddha Got Stuck, Charlotte Kasl, PhD. Her work is pivotal in the world of addiction. Without it, we miss the essential background for these times and decades past.
When we began hearing one by one from women who were standing for their truth regarding incidences of impropriety, groping, drugging, sexual assault and rape, against Bill Cosby--I often heard a certain refrain.
The refrain frequently was--: Why didn't she come forth sooner?
Here is the backdrop. Let's say you were violated by a socially establish, prominent figure on the world scene. Let's also add the person was male.
Here is the harsh truth for many of the women who have reported being violated by Bill Cosby.
Following (the alleged event) you are aware, as you put your reality together, that things are not as they should be. You lost consciousness. Your clothing is apart from your body, (apart also the dreams you held in your heart).
As spokeswomen have said: what do you want? You are horrified as you put the inconceivable together. You want OUT of there. You want to leave. And you are afraid to speak for you feel responsible for what has just happened to you. You feel immense shame. You may say--nothing.
In the Sixteen Steps for Discovery & Recovery which Kasl put together, her fourth step is:
"We examine our beliefs, addictions and dependent behavior in the context of living in a hierarchical, patriarchal culture."
EVERY entity, every institution, you need to seek is male dominated from police to healthcare.
I have heard many a glib or dismissal tone about the women who did not report the sexual assault.
Obviously, the women doubted they would be believed.
Even now, we know there was a backlog of over 400,000 untested rape kits nationwide. While the number has been reduced, there still are untested rape kits sitting on shelves. Some of these go back 20+ years. This is today. This is a women's reality.
Sexual assault is on the rise. To me it is essential to stand with these women, who overall have had
nothing to gain by speaking out. The statute of limitations had run out for nearly all of the assaults.
The Huffington Post has written that Cosby had a segment on a record called "Spanish Fly" from "It's True, It's True." Here he talks of putting drugs into women's drinks. It is beyond chilling to read.
Cosby himself must have felt impenetrable, as he appeared on Larry King and happily chatted about
drugs added to drinks: as in the "Spanish Fly." In the mood of the words on his recording: Cosby's narration is full of joy, giddy even. It's like he had a powerful secret.
That is how safe Cosby felt. This is how unsafe the women who have come forward were.