Taking Christmas As It Comes

Taking Christmas As It Comes


You have to take your Christmas as it comes--
Even if you've had losses.
In letting go you can embrace:
Your friends, Your angels;
Your family, Your tree,

For the New Year comes
in time for healing:
and wisdom the gifts of hard times.


©1995 Connie Nelson Ahlberg

And May All the Heavens Bless

Freedom From Want

Norman Rockwell

If you don't have a turkey too often,
It's pretty nice on that Thursday
late in November

To bow your head
While Mom rests her legs,
And thank for the little things,
Like the carving knife,
And the big things,
Like each other.

©Connie Nelson Ahlberg 1996

Pray, Who Is Missing?

A Nun Ironing Cardinals Vestments

Vatican 1967 - Eve Arnold 

Magnum Photos @Pinterest

The roll of men in the Catholic Church is so broad, so inclusive of them, of patriarchy, that it seems those in power are unable to see the half of us that are missing. 

I'll never forget Pope John Paul II's funeral. By the time all the Cardinals paraded out, esteemed priests, deacons, and altar men or boys, the view was so overwhelmingly male (draped in red and white) that it was stunning. The scene was a sea of red matching the slippers the departed Pope wore on his feet.

I took notes on the first Mass said while the Pope was in the United States. We had a female soloist, one woman reading a responsorial psalm, a choir with women--but not on the altar. 

Even the beloved Virgin Mary was off to the side. The image of the nun above is such a striking pose which depicted the times--but for women, the crux has not changed. Maureen Down is right. The Church protects the old guard. 

In 1969 MS Magazine had it's first preview issue. That was 46 years ago. 

This is the unanswered issue of our times. Essentially women are still ironing vestments in the basement of the Vatican. Even now the Catholic Church nearest to me, Mary Mother of the Church (coined Mary Mother of the Mortgage by a nun ) decided, no, little girls could NOT serve at the Mass: a fact which saddened even traditional women in the parish.

I have listened to MSNBC'S Chris Matthews say that here in the States and elsewhere, it is women who are aware of the school setting, who is teaching, what the needs of the children are, along with the needs/& care of the home. Some of these same women, of course, have their own careers. 

Years ago I said the Church will turn to women when they run out of men. I was wrong. Even in listening to comments the night before the Pope departed, I heard very closed minds about women in the Church--one of them being a bishop. The resistance regarding women as equals seems so monumentally foreign to the patriarchy that they can't even engage about it. So it's double-speak. They can't connect in meaningful ways.

We are told all the roles women are playing in the Church today. But the laity isn't seeing it. It seems we can be close to missionaries to Guatemala or Haiti, but heaven help us, we cannot be a deacon or say Mass. Years ago at St. Joan of Arc in Minneapolis, a deacon introduced his wife, who was allowed to become a deacon only because he was.

He said, "You will hear how profoundly more eloquent and able she is than I."

She was given a standing ovation.

I am now grasping once again, why my former teacher and mentor in grades 6-8th grades, so Italian her father and uncle were from Italy--has left the Church.

When John Paul II said he didn't want "cafeteria Catholics," it angered my brilliant friend. She left the Church and is now a Episcopal Eucharist minister. She has even stood in white robes near stairs to the subway train and administered ashes on Ash Wednesday. It's an insult to offer a women with a Ph.D. anything but equality.

She hopes she will see inclusion and family planning in her lifetime in the Catholic Church. Now I'm pondering if I'll see it.

And it isn't as if celibacy, hierarchy, patriarchy and secrecy have been a resounding success.

I'm always praying that someone opens the windows! Airs the place out! Is magnanimous to all: Welcome everyone! There are women giants who have the calling, the brilliance and grace to serve the Church in outstanding ways.

I am pulling for Pope Francis, but I am painfully aware--he is but two years short of 80 years of age.

A Franciscan Laity group I saw pictured in Rome within the last two years--were predominantly gray, or capped with white hair.  Young, educated, Hispanic women aren't attending the Church of their mothers.

Recently a dear friend who has served her Church for decades in major ways asked herself: What has the Church done for me?

Pope of Mercy

Pope Francis at Youth Day 

at Haimi Castle in Korea 2014 /

Closing Mass for Asian youth

Pope Francis is a comforter, a teacher, a Model of Mercy. This is what he wants for us in our own interaction with the world. 

It has been impossible for me to watch several days of Pope Francis' trip to the United States with a dry eye. Indeed, I have wept twice.

Though I have issues with the Church of my youth--who, who cannot be taken with the compassion of this man? 

As we've witnessed Pope Francis weave through his incredible days here---there the little ones are, at rest and waiting, with their devoted parents, those with special and debilitating diseases and handicaps in the hopes Francis might, just might stop and touch their heads and hearts. 

All the youth the Pope has touched are actually not victims though the Church has the term "victim saints," and they may well be on that road of grace. 

Here is the truth that turns everything on its head.

What I would lift the parents with is the knowledge that:

We choose our parents and siblings and thus time and place on the soul level before we arrive here.

Therefore, these beyond challenged children the Pope has blessed and kissed are on a holy mission. They have accepted, they have chosen--a limited body for all the lessons they will experience within it. 

One can certainly grasp that our spiritual evolution or theirs would be sped by such a life of sacrifice. 

The Pope keeps highlighting those of us without, those of us "on the margins," forgotten, hungry and in need of outstretched arms. As a simple yet complex man of grace, Francis models how to live Christ in the world. 

We can ignite our own lives by observing, by seeing, his flame: visiting the incarcerated, seeing the elderly, reaching to console the homeless, and honoring peace and foregiveness within our own families.

At first I cried when Francis entered St. Patrick's in New York City. Just one of my thoughts was: He may never come again. We simply don't know. So every moment is precious and never to be repeated. 

A goal I have is to read through all St. Francis' speeches at each venue. I want to wrap myself in his illuminated words. This Pope is a gift for our times. The Catholic Church has been in such a spiritual black hole. And then up pops Francis, having his own darker days when he was forced into seclusion by his own Jesuits.

Yet everything he has endured on his path to the Papacy, though he never sought it, has become who he is today.

I have prayed to my "Heavy Hitter" Saints to protect Pope Francis and allow him to Be With Us...modeling mercy, transforming souls.

Our Stories of Love

Lou, Master Gardener

Letting Go: Life's Lessons 

"Our personal stories of loss

Are really our stories of love;

If we hadn't had our years 
of love and bonding,

If the riches weren't there...

How could our tears fall over our warmed hearts?

Truly loss is a cycle of love within life."

When I moved into what was my father's condominium, I wasn't fixated on my new neighbors because I was healing from a near-fatal car accident. 

But when I did take in my fellow residents, I felt far younger than most who lived here. I was startled to see so many walkers and canes. But that has been changing. With so many long-time residents having lived at Woodhurst West for decades, one by one they begin, or continue to, "fly up." 

I realize it's the flow of life, but I've never had it so under my nose, or down the hall but a few yards, or cross the hall by a few feet. 

Angels have been active...all around me. In a previous post, I wrote about My Saints in the Corner: Joyce and Ed Stevens who spent a life in the ministry. When we lost them...I was so hit by the grace of who they were, and who they still are, that I memorized their favorite scripture and saved their memorials. 

Then the escorting angels moved one door to the right. My neighbor Frank in precarious health: COPD, conjestive heart failure, diabetes and more went to the hospital. Then he was diagnosed with cancer, entering hospice shortly thereafter. His journey was lovingly managed right where he and his wife Joan have lived right next to the Stevens. And right next to me.

At the family funeral for Frank, I saw all the pictures of he and his wife Joan's pictures from their wedding and dear posing at Niagra Falls. For the first time, I saw Frank as a younger man. I stood and stood by their honeymoon faces. I could see the noses and the chins, the soft smiles. I saw Frank's life in its entirety. 

It seemed only weeks ago I had delivered chicken soup from Valley Natural Foods and witnessed changes in trust documents, signing my name on various pages in their home.

I got holy water from Lourdes from the closest Catholic shop and prayed my heart out; but the miracles were not to be.

Then the escorting angels moved onto the next door where our master gardener, Lou, lives, my dear friend. I tried to do "distance healing" for her. I focused so hard on her lymph nodes and total healing. I admit I was crushed when the report following her round of chemo treatments wasn't good. I felt I had failed. 

Lou is battling pancreatic cancer; and I've been devastated to see her suffering and her face becoming so pale. I slip notes and cards under her door from "Connie Across-the-Hall." Now that's what she calls me: Connie Across the Hall. 

So you can see, if I needed to learn about letting go...I'm in a perfect place for it. 

A cousin in-law told me after our beloved family healer flew up, You don't want people to die.

I said: I wouldn't go that far. Secretly I know he's right. It's more that I feel, well, not so soon. Later. 

Last summer Lou managed the huge project of contractors removing our rotting, wooden logs that supported our retaining wall. Stone was voted on and with her brother's master garden in California in her head, Lou and other gardeners mapped out a flowering field at the summit of our hill and all the flowers potted behind our pool. It's a huge span of flowers. 

We never dreamt last summer when Lou put in hour upon hour on the hill digging, planting that she'd be moving on to other gardens so soon. 

She is in transition now. I'm trying desperately to find quotes and images to lift her. Yesterday I slipped a postcard from the Minneapolis Institute of Art under her door. It was a painting of the Christ taken down from the cross. I had been saving it. 

Stupidly I said: This is our ace in the hole, Lou: a treasure that must be shared. Put it on your pillow. 

I know how deep her faith. I was hoping to lift her past her pain. 

Two weeks ago, I called 911 after another neighbor banged on my door. She nearly or did collapse in my arms. She said I'm so dizzy; could this be the flu? She was perspiring heavily, getting sick in the hall. I grabbed a metal planter inside my door to help her. Then I called for help. Her blood pressure was at 200. 

Molly went off her medications from a decade ago because she couldn't afford her medications. After a night in the hospital after which I picked her up, she said: Now don't worry about me. 

As I type, two doors down, Bill, brilliant, old and bent over, is in the hospital. Joan, mentioned above, knocked at my door with Bill's wife Ann (who has dementia) saying Bill was in the hospital with a blood clot and cellulities. I hugged them both...precious elderly.

I never knew how sweet Ann was until I hugged her. Why did it take me so long?

When Hillary was Hurting--A Prayer

"CircaetusGallicus" by Juan lacruz - Own work. 

Licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0 via Commons - https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:CircaetusGallicus.jpg#/

media/File:CircaetusGallicus.jpg

A Prayer for Strength

and Healing

When Bill and hence, Hillary, were pilloried during their worst times in the White House, my heart went out to their suffering. My concern went to not only the President and his dreams but also to Hillary and Chelsea for what they were forced to endure. I wrote a prayer called: 

For Hillary and Chelsea

A Prayer for Strength 

             and Healing

May all the heavens

Above thee kneeling,

Give you Grace

Through Peace

And Healing:

May all kind hearts

In supportive love

Lighten your shoulders &

Strengthen--Your Resolve.

All Rights Reserved. 

Connie Nelson Ahlberg

In recent days, my prayer, never received, came to mind. 

It's time I shared it. 

Something pure must clear the air, something said in earnest to take a campaign beyond where it is today. I believe Washington Post opinion writer, Eugene Robinson, is right: Hillary needs to clear her path with an apology. I understand the rationale but time to rise out of it...like an eagle.

George W. Bush on Religious Liberty

Japanese symbol for Unconditional love

Pinterest

It is both curious and not curious at all that former President George W. Bush chose to speak a few words on religious liberty in his commencement address at Southern Methodist University on May 16.

However since our freedom of religion is protected in the United States--I wish to take a look at the meaning of the words he chose to speak.

And finally, you can be hopeful because there is a loving God. Whether you agree with that statement or not is your choice. It is not your government's choice. It is essential (applause). It is essential to this nation's future that we remember that the freedom to worship who we want and how we want--or not worship at all--is a core belief of our founding.

Read more at http://www.inquisitr.com/2095753/george-w-bush-calls-himself-c-student-president-at-smu-commencement-speech-defends-religious-liberty/#s63j7BH2UPhKmhW5.99

The words freedom of religion "is not your government's choice," stand out. By in large, our beliefs aren't controlled by Washington D.C. nor state houses of government. So what could the President have meant by his remarks--on freedoms we already have?

Having been raised Christian, I feel I have an idea. Of course he was speaking at a Christian-affiliated university. One could say he was honoring their beliefs (and his own).

The more Conservative Right, however, isn't so vitally concerned about ALL religious freedom. They are fixated on their own. To some, the United States is for the Christians and by the Christians. And they feel they've lost ground. But this isn't a theocracy. The structure of our government lies in the separation of church and state.

Many hold, no matter that your faith may celebrate a different prophet than the Christ, that manger scenes should be allowed, still be seen on government property. And prayer should still be in public schools.

But not Muslim prayer, Buddhist chants, or Hindi offerings, but say, the Our Father.

The ills of our country, some vehemently protest, are due to our lack of prayer in the schools.

They point to our currency with the words: In God We Trust.

Many lament it is now Happy Holidays vs Merry Christmas and that Christmas trees are not emphasized. Respectfully the very word Christ is in the name of the tree and Christians holy holiday. Kwanzaa, the week-long celebration in December of African American culture, has not necessarily been embraced.

It isn't that I don't believe, but because I do. I believe I need respect you: whether Christian or atheist, agnostic, of the Jewish faith and traditions, Hindu practices, Morman, Islamic, or Buddhist. We also have Native American spirituality (which is more evolved than the faith which ignored an entire people who came after them from European shores.) Christianity shouldn't be considered thee faith of the United States, but one of many: all faiths and non-faiths deserving mutual respect.

The Baha'i faith is one of inclusion of all peoples; I marvel at the oneness in their belief.

The close of the President's speech I can do nothing but applaud for he spoke on unconditional love. We need keep returning to mutual respect--so all, all are honored in peace--and not conflict.

We are not diminished with arms open wide in inclusion.
Rather we expand our own hearts and the earth's evolution when we live it.